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Movies > Lists > 37 Vampire Films That Really Do Suck
37 Vampire Films That Really Do Suck
A SGT PEMBRY JOINT ........................................ Monday, September 14, 2009

Vampire movies have been around almost since the dawn of movies.
The entire genre has proven to be harder to kill than the bloodsuckers themselves - no matter how hard some have tried over the years.

It is constantly regenerating. A new vampire flick is a hit in theatres and every movie studio executive and his dog rushes to try and cash-in on the success, even if it means serving up something as tasty as bat shit I guess killing the original vampire movie and making all of the others disappear wouldn't work.

Of course, it all started with the great Nosferatu, made way back in 1922, in Germany, and featuring Max Shreck as the not-overly attractive Graf Orlok aka Count Dracula. The vampire movie continues today bigger and ... well, we might leave it at just bigger, than ever with the Twilight series.

Eight years after that original silent movie masterpiece came two more films based on Bram Stoker's classic 1897 novel, both simply called Dracula, one with Carlos Villarias in the title role and the other with the legendary Bela Lugosi.


The man who would make the character of Dracula his own however, appearing as him 10 times throughout a long and busy career was Christopher Lee. It began in 1958, with the somewhat over-used title of Dracula, and ended 14 years later, with The Satanic Rites of Count Dracula. He would though star as another Count, Dooku, in Star Wars Episodes II-III (2002 and 2005), despite being in his early 80s.

Lee was quoted as saying, "I stopped appearing as Dracula in 1972 because in my opinion the presentation of the character had deteriorated to such an extent, particularly bringing him into the contemporary day and age, that it really no longer had any meaning."

Christopher Lee as Dracula...

He might have been referring in particular to the work of John Carradine, the father of the recently deceased David (Bill of the Kill Bill series). John didn't play Dracula as much as Lee, but featured in more vampire films in total, over a period of three and a half decades.

It all started innocently enough, with House of Frankenstein (1944) and House of Dracula (1945), in which he did play the Count, but in traditional settings, alongside horror greats Boris Karloff and Lon Chaney Jnr.

Carradine however would ultimately bring life to Dracula, and other bloodsuckers of his ilk, in any time, any place, as you will see on this list. He journeys to the American West, gets into the ring with Mexican wrestlers, and becomes a pimp in the Philippines. Crazy stuff.

It's hard to believe but there have been much worse vampire movie atrocities than anything Carradine has had a part in. Some of the worst have come in the last few years, most notably after Wesley Snipes started kissing goodbye the creatures of the night as Blade, or Tom Cruise started kissing Brad Pitt as Lestat in Interview with the Vampire.

Of course, stay-tuned for much more blood-thirsty studios being behind a bevy of vampire films oozing crappiness in the very near future, not least of all the sequel to the one that started the latest craze, Twilight.

This list has been compiled using the resources of The Internet Movie Database, and includes those 'vampire' films that have rated the poorest. I sure as hell don't profess to have seen many of the films - and I'm not sure I would want to. It's more of a warning.

So, here they are, the vampire movies most in need of a stake to the heart ...


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